A gentle whisper from the LORD...

"Then a great and powerful wind tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks before the LORD, but the LORD was not in the wind. After the wind there was an earthquake, but the LORD was not in the earthquake. After the earthquake came a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire. And after the fire came a gentle whisper." 1 Kings 19:11-12

Wednesday, March 5, 2014

Come...Reap the Harvest Wtih Me


The most dreaded day arrived.  January 13, 4:45 a.m.  My alarm provokes me from deep slumber and I instantly recollect…today is the day.  This is the day we’ve dreaded for months.  Work summons my dear husband away for 8 weeks and I will "wing it" as mom, dad, teacher, nurse, police and whatever career beckons my attention.  Tight throat makes breathing laborious and tears fill the rims of my sleepy eyes. 
“I can do this…I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.  He’ll be home most weekends.  I can do this.”  The rehearsed script plays through my mind as I dig for strength.  And in one moment, his headlights fade off into the early, thick darkness.
“I have no choice.  I have to do this.”
And I do.  Week one surprisingly ends before I know it.  Being around other people puts a smile on my face and strength floods my bones.  Before I realize it, it’s week 2.  Week 2 comes and goes…we’re actually making it!  Through some mountain peaks and valleys, one day at a time, one moment at a time, we survive.
Yet, here I am, midweek of week 8, the final week.  My dear husband will be home for good in 2 days.  Common sense says I should be thrilled, excited and turning somersaults.  But somehow, all the positive attitudes and rehearsed, mental pep rallies and strength from deep within have seemed to dissipated into nothing.  My cup sits dry, there is nothing to runneth over. 
Why…when at the end of this marathon season, do I feel utterly empty and dry, with nothing left to give.  Only 2 days!!  Surely I can get a grip for 2 days!
Perhaps it has something to do with the endless and singlehandedly dealings of piles of laundry and stacks of papers to grade and drilling long division over and over with no success and neighbor’s pit bulls destroying our fence only to make it's home in our yard.  Or perhaps it’s the chocolate overload, repeatedly tripping over remote cars in the middle of the floor, the mountain of dishes in the sink and the inches of western WA rain that soaks and drenches and never ends, day after day…never giving me the chance to even get to curl my hair!  Whatever the cause, I’m dry.  I’m finished.  I have nothing left.
That is, until the Lord himself turned my attention to His beautiful Word:
“So let’s not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don’t give up.” 
(Galatians 6:9 NLT)
Thank you, Jesus, for reminding me.  Thank you for turning my eyes to the truth of your goodness.
And although, for today, this verse inspires me to finish strong these last 2 days, these words also remind us to not give up every day for we know our final harvest is a heavenly harvest!  And what a return that will be!  Until then, keep your focus, draw from Christ and finish strong. 
Join me and let's work this field of life together, regardless of the sweat and muscle that's required.  And one day, I hope to sit next to you and share a harvest meal in the presence of God, reflecting on all His goodness.
Blessings.
 
Please be mindful of one thing: One way in which we can work side by side in this great life field is to pray for one another.  If I could be praying for you in any way, please let me know.  It would be an honor to go before the Lord with you in mind.  bagraybeal@gmail.com
 

Monday, March 3, 2014

From Pit to Cliff


Swallowed by the pit, attempt is my strength.  Leaving this bottomless pit is a must.  So I attempt, reaching my arms, stretching…sinking my fingers into the slim of comparison.
 “Maybe, if I can keep my house clean like her…or perhaps, their ‘paradise’ homeschool experience will pale in comparison to my plans and crafts and cuddle reading times.  Perhaps P90X will make me look like her.  Maybe, just maybe, I can lift myself up out of this hellhole.” 
But the harder I try, I find no substance for my hands to grasp. 
“She has more children, more talent, a slimmer, athletic body.  God must really think a lot of her.” 
The attempt to climb out of the muddy walls of comparison provide no stronghold.  I find myself falling, right back where I began, deep within the pit.
I turn to the other side of the engulfing pit…
“Maybe this side will prove more successful.”
My foot searches for a rock climber’s dream.  Yet the mudslide of “being good enough” proves itself to be of no help.  Still, I attempt…
1.      Study the Bible
2.      Obey all rules
3.      Be polite
4.      Say religious prayers…so everyone will hear me…and be impressed
5.      Post really cute but unrealistic pictures of our homeschool
I attempt to appear to those around me the perfect wife, the perfect mother, in a perfect home.  I attempt…attempt…I fall.  Deeper still.
The sinkhole of jealousy takes its toll.  I cannot fight anymore.  It sucks me in, absorbing every part of my being…
“Why has God blessed her with more children?  Why does it always seem everyone’s name is called yet I’m still sitting in the waiting room?  Why do I have a 1979 galley-kitchen-for-one while she has a gourmet kitchen yet hates cooking?  How is it possible that I work out day after day yet still haven’t achieved that beachbody?”
I sink, further and further in self-pity and jealousy.  My surroundings become dark and messy and hopeless.  I muster out a cry yet my voice is muttered in the soundproof mud walls.
Finally, sweet release…                         
And then…HE lifts me out of the pit, out of the muck and mire and HE sets my feet on the rock and HE gives me a firm place to stand!  HE lifts me to a cliff far from the depths of despair. 

The heavens open and mercy drops shower over me, rinsing me clean of the muck and mire.  The light of HIS truth immerses me.  The winds of the HOLY SPIRIT encircle me and I breath…I breath fresh truths into the crevices of my soul.  And the GOD ALMIGHTY, the I AM, reminds me that I am his daughter…and it was never his plan for me to inhabit the pit.

Suddenly perspectives alter.  The earth grows dim in HIS presence.  The darkness scatters in HIS light.  The muck and mire are no longer in control. 
For HE lifted me out of the pit of self-doom.
HE put my feet on the Rock of HIS Word.
HE is everything good…all hope…eternal salvation.  HE is my rock.  HE is my EVERYTHING!
After a lifetime of useless work and unsuccessful attempts and slippery slopes, I finally rest.  I rest in HIM.  I rest in HIS peace.  I long to be higher and closer to GOD ALMIGHTY.  My voice cannot be contained and air-filled lungs and a not-so-talented set of vocal chords begin to sing!  Deep emotion and heartfelt thanksgiving ring out into all the earth!
Thank you, JESUS!  Thank you, JESUS!
“…he turned to me and heard my cry,
he lifted me out of the slimy pit,
out of the mud and mire;
he set my feet on a rock
and gave me a firm place to stand.
He put a new song in my mouth,
a hymn of praise to our God.
Many will see and fear
and put their trust in the Lord.”
Psalm 40:1-2

Sunday, February 2, 2014

Sink and Experience

Imagine for a moment...put yourself in the middle of the ocean and ask, "Would I fight or sink?"  Fighting results in fatigue and worry.  Yet, letting go, sinking to the bottom, is releasing the fight and being still.

"Be still and know that I am God." Psalm 46:10

The original language of this Psalm uses a definition of "be still" that is described as "to sink, to let go."  On this earth, we hold on to many things.  Things that cause us to fight like perfection, comparison, schedules, pride, acceptance...and on and on it goes.  But according to God himself, we must learn to let go of it all and sink into Him.  No more fighting.  Just release.  Sink.  And rest in him.

"Be still and know that I am God."

To know...to experience.  Know Him through your own experience.  No amount of sermon notes, top selling authors or Christian YouTube videos will bring us to a knowing relationship with him.  Seek him through His beautiful promises, gentle guidance and even stern warnings in His Word.  Sink into solitude and rest, listen and experience.

"Be still and know that I am God."

In my own words, I would interpret, "Sink and experience that I am God."

"Be still and know that I am God."

Sunday, May 12, 2013

True Motherhood...Not a Facebook Description

It’s a new day and, of course, time to get updated on all the overnight news and happenings.  So I grab my phone, tap on the Facebook app and read. 
                “Being a mom is the most wonderful job in the world!”
                “I love cuddling with my children in their pajamas, watching a movie.”
                “Motherhood makes my life so joyful.”
On and on it goes…and I feel nothing short of just plain guilty.  Many mornings, I hear my children’s footsteps across the cool morning floors and sigh, thinking to myself, “I’m not ready to begin this day.”  Or I sit with them at mealtime and feel overwhelmed with my career of food police, “Chew with your mouth closed.  Stay in your seat.”  The house is in shambles, the laundry makes me think of Mt. Rainier and, if I have to plan out another meal that no one will eat, I might just quite serving food!  All day long it’s don’t do this or stop doing that.  Blah blah blah!
                Today is Mother’s Day and I’m sitting in my over sized, blond chair waiting to hear from the Lord.  The opened windows play a beautiful recording of God’s nature.  Those children I so often don’t appreciate like I should, are sleeping soundly and the house is blaring in silence.  And the Lord has reminded me that never once did he leave me.  Motherhood is a beautiful calling and I am ever so grateful for what God has given me. 
It’s not easy; in fact, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done.  But I conquer forward, knowing God is with me.  He always has been.  He was with me through morning sickness and c-sections, miscarriages and uncomfortable pregnancies, late nights and early mornings.  He has always been with me even on the days I just wanted to run out of the house and not stop til I reached a warm beach somewhere far and secluded.  He never left my side on those days when it took every part of my being to not scream at the top of my lungs…and even on those days I did scream.  He was at my side in the moments when I saw the children smile and giggle or when they randomly gave me a hug or a precious note was waiting for me at my pillow.  He was always with me…and always will be...in good and bad, easy and hard, tearful and laughter, sickness or health...and forever more!
Never Once

Sunday, September 30, 2012

Wrestling

“He is always wrestling in payer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured.”
Colossians 4:12b (NIV)

I am sitting at my dining room table on a Sunday evening…attempting to wrap my mind around the phrase “wrestling in prayer”.  From a small yet very significant mention of Epaphras, we learn of his faithful servanthood to Christ Jesus.  We also read of his current condition at the time of the description “wrestling in prayer”…in prison.  Go with me back to the first century and try to imagine…

How rare it must have been to be able to put into a script your own thoughts and blessings and greetings to a people of distant residence in the first century…especially in prison.  Paul began his letter, “This letter is written by Paul who was chosen by the will of God to be an apostle of Christ Jesus…”  I imagine the quickening of Epaphras’ heart as he heard the words, “This letter is written to God’s holy people in the city of Colosse…”  Colosse!  Oh, to feel home again.  For a moment, the prison walls tear down and Epaphras is back home.  Where would he go first?  Perhaps the church or maybe his childhood buddy’s home.  Just the thought of the memories must have grown a smile across his face.  Or maybe the rush of hot tears instantly stung his eyes and he found himself quickly turning away to hide the emotion.  Regardless, the feeling of home enveloped every part of his being until, instantly, he was back in the world of reality inside the prison walls, hearing his name.

“Epaphras.  Epaphras!  Do you want to add anything to the letter?” Paul tenderly asks as he notices Epaphras returning. 

He responds almost in a scattered brain state, “Uh…sure.  Give them my greetings and make sure they know I am praying for them.”

With that warm smile of Paul, whose heart has softened these past few years, he tweaks Epaphras’ request a bit for he knows the deep and sincere truth.  He doesn’t just pray for them; he wrestles in prayer for them.  His prayers go so deep that, at times, he seems distracted and distant.  But Paul knows him well enough by now to know he is praying earnestly, tirelessly laboring with deep concern for his brothers and sisters back home.  And Paul knows the depth of each act of interceding for it goes much deeper than the physical requests.  His prayers circle around their spiritual well being.  And so Paul continues…

“Epaphras, who is one of you and a servant of Christ Jesus, sends greetings.  He is always wrestling in payer for you, that you may stand firm in all the will of God, mature and fully assured.  I vouch for him that he is working hard for you…”

What a beautiful example of how we are to pray for our brothers and sisters.  We must labor in our prayers in all sincerity and deeply prayer for the heart.  So, I am bringing this meeting with my computer at the dining room table to an end.  But before I close, I must ask, how can I pray for you?

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

A Rock

“Simon, are you asleep? Couldn’t you watch with me even one hour?  Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give into temptation.  For the Spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”
Mark 14:37-38

In the deepest hours of the night, Jesus surrounded himself with his beloved followers, one of which was Peter, the Rock.  Trouble and distress flooded his soul.  In the midst of great danger and trouble lurking in the moments ahead, prayer was the solitary and essential option.  In his plea to God to allow this appalling hour to pass, Jesus called to his closest friends to sustain him in prayer.  Yet, in the midst of chaos and horror, tribulation and evil, Peter, the Rock, slumbered.
“Simon, are you asleep? Couldn’t you keep watch with me even one hour?”
I’ve often pondered why Jesus called him Simon, as opposed to his new name, Peter, the Rock.  I wonder if, at this moment, Peter was not living up to his name and, therefore, Jesus reverted to his old name.  Yet, the next few words haunt me and cause me to speculate about my own life.
“Keep watch and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation.”
Wow.  Jesus spoke these words to Peter, the Rock, moments before his infamous denial experience.  Yet, another thought invades my mind…I wonder if Peter, the Rock, had been alert and in prayer, would he have denied his Savior in the midst of complete chaos and confusion…or would he had stood firm in his commitment to Jesus?  Just a thought….definitely something in which to ponder.
And then, another nudge from the Holy Spirit…
“For the spirit is willing, but the body is weak.”
How many times have I crawled into my cozy bed at night, with wonderful and great intentions of waking before the dawn to pray, only to sleep away the minutes, all the while hitting snooze over and over again?  With every passing minute and every screaming snooze alert, my time with Jesus dwindles.  Time designated for prayer, a necessity to face the day of temptation, fades as quickly as the stars with the rising sun. 
So, my heart hears.  In order to be a rock, I must be awake…and alert.  Prayer is indispensable, even when my body feels feeble and weary.  Morning…noon…night…I must keep watch for the enemy is ready to shatter the rocks to pieces. 
“The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
my God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
and my place of safety.”
Psalm 18:2

“Give all your worries and cares to God, for he cares about you.  Stay alert! Watch out for your great enemy, the devil.  He prowls around like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour.  Stand firm against him, and be strong in your faith.”
1 Peter 5:7-9


Saturday, September 8, 2012

Pray For All People

"Pray for all people.  Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them."
1 Timothy 2:1

Through the tears of dread and fear, God spoke: Pray.

As I attempted to fall asleep that May night of 2010, thankfulness of the family of God invaded my every thought.  Oh, how God had blessed me.  So many were praying and sending us off to a new land in a quest to follow God's plan.  My entire life had been comfy and cozy, surrounded by familiarity and all that seemed right.  In a matter of days, all I had ever known would become a memory and my new world would become uncomfortable and unfamiliar, surrounded by strangers and unknown places. 

But God continued to speak: Pray.

So many had poured into our lives filling our hearts as a sponge.  But now, our hearts overflowed and it was time to share those heavenly blessings with others.  The time had come to give back. God brought me to the place of conviction through 1 Timothy 2:1..."Pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them."

Through the next two years, God spoke: Pray.

Opportunities arose.  Needs became apparent.  Thanksgivings needed to be expressed.  The list began to grow...pray for her, pray for him, pray on this date...at this time.  And on a Sunday in July, it clicked.  As I listened to the word of God spoken, surrounded by the family of God, instruction came from the pulpit: "All those people you're praying for...double it!"  Once again, conviction tugged and pulled and yanked at my heart as I heard the familiar words of 1 Timothy: ..."Pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them."

God pressed on my heart: Pray.

A vision.  A dream.  A desire filled my heart.  The time has come to allow my prayers to ripple through my world.  However, not just my own world; but hopes that prayers would ripple through the endless waters of people in need or sick or adopting, those grieving or ministering or feeling weak.  Perhaps the lonely, poor or those needing to express joy.

God is urging us all: PRAY.

Please join me!  Listen to that loud whisper of the Holy Spirit and allow your prayers to ripple through your world.  Maybe we'll see results.  Maybe we won't...this side of heaven.  But it is time...for all of us...to double our prayers. 

God desires us to PRAY!!


If you would like to join the "Ripples" team, please contact me at bagraybeal@gmail.com