“The Lord replied, ‘I will personally go with you…and I will give you rest – everything will be fine for you.’” Exodus 33:14
Maybe I’ve used this verse too often but it is a promise I hold dear to my heart. It is a Word from God that I have clung to…squeezed so tightly to with white knuckles…desperately cried out reminding me of God’s truth!
In the summer of 2006, Troy was accepted for the Military scholarship for medical school. Although I was his loudest cheerleader and supporter in this decision, it was not without much anxiety and fear deep in my heart. I pretended everything would be fine and I became known in my family as the one who said, “Everything’s going to be fine!” I kept saying it over and over again trying to convince others I was fine and trying to convince myself.
But inside I was a wreck. I was a mess. My heart and mind were cluttered with so much stress and worry. I sometimes couldn’t see what was right in front of me because the anxiety was so thick. I remember after we found out where we were moving, my brother asked me what was on my mind one day. In a fraction of a second, my immediate response was Washington! I didn’t even hesitate one bit to answer about anything else…it was as if I was on auto pilot and everything was flying toward the fear of the future. It was in every thought, every conversation, and every moment of my day. The anxiety became so bad when we were under a year away from moving I even began to struggle with anxiety attacks.
One night, Troy was praying for me after one of my weakest moments. He mentioned in his prayer that this way of life, full of worry and empty of peace, was not what God intended for me or for anyone! So I kept clinging to the promise.
Today is Thanksgiving and we are in Washington, away from our family and dear friends back home. Our Thanksgiving plans this year were to stay home and have a family celebration on our own and to be thankful for what God has done in us these past few months…and years! And you know, I realized this morning that I have had more peace in my heart since we have been here than I have the past 3 years! And it is not because of anything I have done or anything that has happened here. It is simply a fulfillment of God’s promise. He personally came with us. He has given me peace…and everything truly is fine!
So if I had to choose just one thing to be thankful for this year, I would be thankful to be in Washington. For only when we are in his will, following his plan will we have a true peace deep in our hearts. It’s a promise He’s given us. And I testify that this promise is true and He will do as He says!